What's been your path in life?

My path has been an inexorable journey toward becoming more real.

I'm no stranger to my capacity for self deception, but lately I'm seeing beyond the everyday discrete episodes to themes, or arcs, i.e. the trajectory of these things over time, and what they might say about the role of shadow, or the unconscious, in my life...

Since I've withdrawn from 12-step meeting attendance, I see life spreading out before me, 360 degrees of as yet unintegrated possibility.  I have had so much of my persona invested in being a "recovering alcoholic and addict with 26 years on the program."  Now, it is as if whole chunks of my identity are gone.  What ground do I stand on, now?  It's disorienting, I feel as if I need to "get my sea legs" without the weekly reaffirmation of narcissistic specialness that my past way of life afforded me.  Now I'm just a regular person, in a vast ocean of regular persons...now, perhaps, I can be fully present to things that regular persons do, instead of conditionally...now, perhaps I can relinquish my demand for special treatment, for extraordinary recognition, for particular circumstances...now, perhaps I don't have to be self-righteous, indignant, offended, or wounded, even...